About 20 years ago I became involved in a nascent organization called IDUG (International DB2 Users Group). It was an exciting time, the organization was in a growth phase, and we were building something that was useful to others. Somewhere along the way they elected me President. It was an honor to be the first female to hold the title.
The work with IDUG led to some great opportunities to work with major firms building and improving their database systems. Yes, I was in geek heaven. I also was lucky enough to build global friendships, many of which exist to this day. Five years ago, when I left IBM to start my own business, I figured that my geek days were behind me.
Well, they were and they weren’t. For many of my business clients, I serve as someone who can “speak geek,” and help them communicate with technical people they may have on their staff. Because the organizational leadership, as well as many of the management and project leadership jobs I held in Corporate America, I can help small businesses make the leap from start-up to well-run company.
Who I am today builds on all the jobs I’ve held, the people I’ve met and the teams I’ve been involved in. This week I came back to the IDUG conference in Tampa to network and see old friends. I still understand most of the technology, at least at a conceptual level.
But it’s not the same. I’ve changed and so have they. The balancing act is to stay true to who I’ve become, and enjoy the remembrances of the past without regressing to who I was. That serves no one. Tom Wolfe said, “You can’t go home again.” IDUG was home for many years and it’s still a place I love.
But it’s not home anymore.
And, I think it’s something that we all as women leaders need to recognize. We build ourselves and our lives over time and no matter how much people (or parents) want to put us back in the box, we no longer fit. It can feel a little sad, there is a loss. But there’s also a great energy and truth in going forward and becoming the woman you were meant to be.
