As women, we know what rejection feels like to the core of our souls. Sometimes we call it abandonment…a dad leaving in the middle of the night, a mom too busy at work to show up for the school play. We honed our skills in our teenage years. Will he look at me? Ah! No, he was looking at my best friend. And we feel just a little sick to our stomach.
As we grew into our business selves, we tried to say, “It’s just business” when we were passed over for a promotion. Or, we were “ranked” less than someone else. Or when the business we were wooing decided in favor of our competitors instead. Yet, no matter how much we tried, there was a little voice going, “It’s you. You’re just not good enough.”
I was allowed the pleasure today of experiencing rejection once again. I had submitted a short story and it was turned down…fast. (Sometimes I miss the days of postal mail, where the mail system added a few days to any rejection letter. Email is too fast!) Anyone who writes will tell you that the longer they hold on to something, the better it feels. Quick rejection can be really tough. Just like when a boy (or girl) looks you over and says, “Not my type” without ever even knowing you.
I’ll wallow for a while, because I know that’s part of the process. And then I’ll find somewhere else to submit it, because I believe it’s a good story.
It’s what we all do. We pick ourselves up and keep going. Women are made of really strong stuff. We can be bleeding inside, yet put on our game face and go out again.
Just remember that the next time you are turning down a woman, that you are wounding her a little. Don’t change your decision — it was the right one. Just give some compassion and hope that someone else will give you the same in return some day.
