I want to get this on the table first. I hate conflict. My stomach clenches and I find it hard to breathe every time I know I have to confront someone about something. I feel like crying every time someone raises their voice to me or, heaven forbid, gets MAD at me!
My name is Casey and I am a recovering people-pleaser.
The topic of conflict has come up a lot recently. A member of the Wise Woman Circle talked about conflict issues she had around business during a recent group coaching call. At last night’s e-woman event, the managing director, Kristy Rogers, talked about conflict during her business tips presentation.
February is the month of romance and flowers. It seems almost sacrilegious to talk about conflict. Yet with the economy in the craziness that it is, the “opportunity” to confront our conflict demons is coming up more and more. You might hit conflict when negotiating with a client to get a contract. Or when you are asking someone for the money that they owe you. Or when you deal with the emotions of a long-term client severing the relationship.
If you scratch the conflict sore, you will usually come into the wound of fear. We are afraid that people won’t like us. More important, our inner bag lady raises her head and tells us that if we don’t please people, we will lose our security. After all, no one likes an aggressive woman, do they? Frequently, women who stand up for their rights and set their boundaries are called all kinds of nasty names.
It’s up to us, the women business leaders of the world, to set that myth of subservience away forever. We need to call on our inner Amazon warrior to stand up for our rights, ask for what is owed us and own our own position in conflict. We don’t need to become shrews, just firm. In fact, the more you exercise the muscle of conflict, the better you will get at stating what you need and want and letting silence do the rest of the work for you.
Are you proud of your actions in a recent conflict? Let us know by clicking comments below.
